Episode #2
All The Wiser
With Host Kimi Culp
Note that transcripts are generated using speech recognition software and are checked by over-worked and under-paid interns. So, please excuse any inaccuracies. Thank you.
Original Release: Monday, August 31,2020
SPEAKERS
Zack Robidas, Kimi Culp
Zack 00:00
Can you talk about speaking your shame
Kimi Culp 00:02
it's so interesting you asking me because I was what I always say is I was ashamed of being mentally ill and I still am. I don't know if come with complete truthfulness, I can say any longer than I still am because I think saying it out loud over and over again and being open. A lot of that is gone. But for many years, I was ashamed. I thought it was dirty. What does that say about me? I'm mentally ill, I'm broken.
Zack 00:30
That and so much more. Coming right up on today's episode of the pod spotter.
MUSIC INTRO TO BREAK
00:53
Zack: You're listening to the Pod Spotter. I'm your host, Zach Robidas. There are a shitload of pods out there to weed through guys. And that is why we are here, we're going to do the heavy lifting. We're going to find those little diamonds in the rough and every Monday, we're going to talk to the creators and hosts of those pods and we're gonna play clips, and we hope you find it useful and entertaining. And we hope that you subscribe to our pod, or visit us at thepodspotter.com and on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @thepodspotter for extra content and information on upcoming shows. Thanks everybody.
.
01:45
MUSIC OUT OF BREAK
Zack: surviving a 12 foot shark attack, getting blown up in Iraq, living through a deadly plane crash, escaping a blazing fire or getting run over by a 20 ton bus. And walking away from Ms. 13. Your summer blockbuster podcast is here Ladies and gentlemen, real people real stories of survival. This might just be the very best damn podcast that you're not listening to. Kimi Culp has 20 plus years of broadcast experience that includes work as a producer for NBC, ABC and The Oprah Winfrey Show. She's a mother, an author, a film producer, but today, she joins me to discuss All the Wiser, the podcast that brings you the most insane stories of people's darkest days, the realities of living through adversity, and lessons on life, loss and love. Thank you, Kimmy, thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing this wonderful podcast with us. It has been a true pleasure to binge. How are you?
Kimi Culp 02:49
I'm wonderful. And I'm going to hire you to do my promo at the top because man was that succinct. way better than it are pitch you can just hang out in elevators with me when they're thinking again.
Zack 03:00
That’s a win. this interview is over, I got a compliment from Kimmy. We're done here. Thank you so much. So I introduced you well, because that is typically your first question on your podcast, how would you introduce yourself?
Kimi Culp 03:12
First and foremost, I'm a human being. And I'm a I'm a wife, and a mother and a friend. I'm somebody who is innately curious about the world. I'm a flawed human being. And I'm a deep thinker, and occasionally funny. And so yeah, and I and I love telling stories and finding stories about other people and sharing them which is what led me to all the wiser and talking to you today.
Zack 03:41
All the wiser is often funny. I think that was one of the biggest surprises I had coming out of it. My wife and I have just been bingeing it and loving it and just laughing a lot through some of the darkness which seems to be important, an important modality, of survival and overcoming adversity. And I think that's what I really want to focus our time today on is that those modalities, the wisdom, part of what you learned over the course of working on this podcast. But I do want to start at the beginning of the pod at least and how it came to be if we can go back a year to when we were all younger, and less trapped.
Kimi Culp 04:21
All the wiser came to me during a rare period of quiet, I produced a film and traveled the world with the film festival was very exhausted and sleep deprived and a little bit bloated and overweight. And I just said I'm not going to do this again, I'm going to set I'm going to be present I'm going to be available to myself and my kids and instead of just jumping for the next thing. I'm going to wait to see what that next thing should be. And throughout the next and first 18 months of not working and just being I really fell in love with podcast. And what I realized is that I had traveled the world As a journalist and producer, interviewing people, but that my voice had, in fact, never been a part of that narrative, it was always edited out and shipped off to an anchor who would, you know, wrap around the footage, if you will in New York or film where the producers and filmmakers are behind the camera? So you don't hear our voices? And I thought, well, what if I could capture the conversation in its entirety and have some ownership and agency? Because you can have these really, what feels like special and personal connections and then have them chopped up in a million pieces and have people throw sensational music over it? You know, for television?
Zack 05:40
Was it a pretty seamless transition for you,
Kimi Culp 05:42
when you work in television and film, you have a budget for an audio engineer, you know, you got the sound engineer and DP, I had no idea how to run any of this equipment I'm now wearing. And so yeah, very little barriers of entry. Anyone can start a podcast, but learning the technical piece of it. You know, now I'm starting to really think more deeply about my voice and training my voice. And so the listeners can have a richer experience that still kind of true to me. So yeah, it was about finding my voice. It was about finally getting the courage to say my voice is worth sharing, which took a long time. But at 43, I thought, Okay, why I won't let fear stop me from that. And I will include my voice. And I'll find stories that I believe, are, have real value in sharing. And our stories are definitely dramatic and entertaining in nature. But the most important piece of the stories is really the end takeaway and how people can be shaped and transformed through incredible adversity. And when they come out the other end with really, I would say, an evolved understanding of the world and themselves. And the goal is that there are some that it can be cathartic for both the interviewee or storyteller, if you want to call it that, and the people who are connecting, that was really the intention. And then I've always been obsessed with like TOMS shoes and Warby Parker, and all these hipster companies who figure out like, how to do their work, but like, also make a good dent in the world. And so we were lucky enough to partner with the foundation and say like, Okay, well, let's play with that. And in the story space, like, let's let's meet at the intersection of story and cause and so yeah, and we started All the Wiser.
Zack 07:29
How do you receive submissions, then? For all the wiser? How do you hear about stories? How do you choose which stories to produce?
Kimi Culp 07:39
It's an influx, I mean, it's using that training as a journalist, which is research, research research. So a lot of times I think of something like I'm like, I'm fascinated about opioid addiction and what and what what does that really look like? Or I'm really fascinated about mental health wards, what is you know, there's a, there's a huge history in our country there. Or so sometimes it's driven by that. And then you go into research mode, like you would if you were a documentary filmmaker, and you wanted to, you'd start looking for stories and people, sometimes it's through guests, sometimes it's through friends of friends.
Zack 08:22
Nice. And for All the Wiser. While was the original working title, I dare you not to cry? Or was it always
Kimi Culp 08:30
Zack, I like to call them stories of weight,
Zack 08:33
Sories of weight you're looking for. So weight, you're looking for change. You're looking for originality, and you're looking for topics of interest to you, topics that you'd like to explore and share.
Kimi Culp 08:45
Yeah, and I think um, you know, a lot of them have themes that go beyond what would be the obvious subject matter. You know, my friend Michelle has been as ALS and can speak and it's very complex story, but Michelle's story is about what it means to be a caretaker and what it can. And so a lot of people can relate to caretaking, whether that's kids or elderly parents are. So um, so yeah, the stories there. I'm glad you say you laugh, because I think that's important. And I think that most of our guests levity is a part of their journey and their coping mechanism and what has helped them get through their suffering or collective suffering. And, and so while our stories are of weight, and they parts of it feel, you know, really heavy and high stakes, I think a lot of them are have a lot of funny moments. And I think ultimately, they are hopeful. But most importantly, they're real. I mean, and so I think the weight thing, it's just like you go to a dinner party, you sit next to the person, ‘how are you Oh, everything's good. The kids are going to Xyz...’ and then it's Like, if if we all said how we really were like, you know, like it sure would get real. And so I'm interested in having those conversations about what's really going on in people's lives and how we can share to connect more support each other more learn about different perspectives. So I would say they're weighty and they're real.
Zack 10:20
One of the first moments that made me laugh out loud, Gleason was probably the first thing I listened to just because there's such a big footprint about Gleason, given that you produced a film, but nominated for an Academy Award. And so it was one of the first ones I listened to. And one of the first times I laughed out loud was just as his sense of humor right off the bat. He starts with a joke about your name and we'll just play a quick clip. This is from Gleason.
CUT TO CLIP
Guy: First off, I want to thank you for taking the time to interview me. I will try not to stutter.
I also love love love how I say Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy,
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Kimi Culp 11:03
Yes, speaking of somebody who can, you know, in spite of not being able to speak typing with his eyes, you know, consistently make the whole room laugh out loud. So yeah, that's just a glimpse.
Zack 11:16
Yeah, I think in order to just to have an open, honest conversation about the impact that your podcast has had on me, personally, I think I should just share with you my sort of break glass in case of emergency moment that I'm living through right now personally, with my wife, who was recently diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. And while we are very much in our infancy with our journey, I'm not really able to like, I can't talk about it the way that your guests talk about it with any great distance or perspective, I can just offer to share that it is an extremely important podcast, and modalities of healing and recovery, that you share are significant. And there's something in it for everybody that is not only dealing with something personally, but also, you know, just might know somebody dealing with adversity might know somebody going through their their darkest time. And so I just kind of want to start with some clips of those modalities, and maybe have you reflect on some of them that you've learned from people struggling with adversity. And the first one that I really was struck by was meditation. And let's hear what Victoria has to say about meditation.
CUT TO CLIP
WOMAN: Yeah, I am pretty early on started developing seizures. And it got to a point at its height, they were every two to five minutes around the clock. And so a seizure feels like you're being struck by lightning. And so for a year and a half straight, I was pretty much being electrocuted for close to 20 hours a day, which is kind of a form of torture, if you will. And so that's actually how I learned how to meditate and how I learned how to kind of put myself elsewhere because the pain was just pretty unbearable. And I needed, I needed a coping method to go with it. And no one knew that I was in there. So people didn't realize that I was feeling every single shock going through my body and they couldn't get it under control for a whole year and a half. But that was just another example of my body was just in this like fight mode. And there was severe inflammation in my spinal cord and in my brain, so it was just like a thunderstorm.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack 13:36
If that isn't the best commercial for meditation, I don't know what it is. She's trapped inside herself. And she's experiencing seizures and the only sort of respite she has it's these moments of meditation.
Kimi Culp 13:49
Well, I'm Zack, first of all, I want to go back and thank you for your trust and sharing with me about your wife and i will be thinking of you both and praying for you both and, and thank you for also sharing that our guests are offering some comfort and reprieve. So thank you for sharing that
Zack 14:11
Of course. I mean, you you have put yourself in your own podcast, as well, you you're very open and honest, you spend an entire episode dealing with mental health. And so it felt disingenuous to come to you and talk to you about your podcast and not at least offer that same honesty.
Kimi Culp 14:30
Well, thank you, Victoria, who had locked in syndrome who was in a coma and and her her the world around her was not aware that she was awake, although her family, rightfully and deeply believe she was. To the meditation piece. And this goes back to I don't know, if you and your wife I've had a chance to listen to Maya Moyles course, pristine point that most of our guests are on the other end of something so they're looking back you know It's a disservice and a misnomer to say that anybody comes out of anything and you wrap it up in a beautiful red bow. And oh, I learned so much. And now I'm evolved and life moves forward, you know, these things stay with us in our piece of us and a part of us. But there is this whole notion of post traumatic growth that you can go through these things, and come out with new wisdom and new gifts and new perspective. And you've been through something hard, which can ultimately be of service when you share it with others. And Maya was, you know, diagnosed with stage four cancer at the age of 27. And is still in the thick of it. And she said, I don't know that I can do this to me, because I'm not on the other end of anything. I'm in the thick of it. And I'm, and I might still have a lot to teach us. And Maya talks a lot about meditation. And then in our another guest, Damien Echols, who was in solitary confinement from being wrongfully accused. All three of those people in incredibly stressful situations, all turn to and site meditation as a modality that saved their lives, in the sense in different ways. So I do think the ability to I guess, use that as the most beautiful healthy coping MC mechanism that exists, and the fact that it's been, you know, practice around the world, you know, for, you know, bazillions of years at this point. And then I think the, the level of calm and presence, so you can show up for these things that are really hard, so the act of meditation itself, but more importantly, the ripple effect that it has, you know, well beyond the actual, you know, time of practice,
Zack 16:50
Maya I also had that imagery of the of the ocean, which we identified with and the waves of her journey and her battle, you know, just getting her mind right for the next wave that's coming and respecting the ocean and respecting that, you know, you're sitting in a time of tumult sometimes. And then then there's the calm, and then another wave crashes, and you sort of just have to have your mindset in the right place to survive the unpredictability of the ocean. Yeah, yes, beautiful stuff.
CUT TO CLIP
WOMAN: I've been in the O.R. twice, I've had 15 rounds of chemo. And I've been in ERs countless times with complications over the past 15 months. So it's been a roller coaster, I think most people who see me Don't even think I'm sick, and I can manage to live a very normal life. But then every time I'm kind of feeling like I calibrate back to normal, something weird will happen. And I'll have another complication. So it's a very humbling journey, I feel like it's kind of like learning to surf. And every time you think you've got it, or don't have enough respect for the ocean, it will smack you with another wave. So just learning to ride all of that.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack 18:04
I just feel like this is such a gift to having you here, and I have you trapped in the zoom. And I have so much to learn from you an expert on, you know, overcoming adversity that I just want to minE you for all of these little modality nuggets that you can share.
Kimi Culp 18:17
Thank you, Zack, I think people matter most, there isn't one single interview where people didn't talk about the relationships in their life. And it wasn't always their parents, a lot of times, it was a lot of people, you know, reference, you know, their mothers. But I think, you know, ultimately, in the end, you know, how we love and how we were loved is how, you know, is what our time here is about. And so I think those relationships and to the point, you know, where you're on this journey with, with your wife, kind of how it like, all the sudden what matters most comes in to play, right? So a lot of these people know, some had, you know, really big careers that, you know, kind of came with, you know, in hindsight, a big ego. And they came back and we're like, everything changed, right? No, no, like, why am I actually doing this? You know, what does it What does this work mean? How do my employees feel when they show up for the world? Do I have time to, you know, call my you know, do I have time to meet somebody who ... so I think relationships matter most surrounding yourself with the people who love and support you unconditionally, you know, matters the most. And that, that that is a theme that has not met been missed from one single interview. Aaron Stark was, you know, a day away from being a school shooter. He had a family I mean, it's, you know, talk about neglect and abuse and just awful and, you know, he says kind of the thing that saved him was this one kid at school found out it was his birthday and invited him over and he walks in. And there's a birthday cake and people acknowledging that that he matters, you know, like that ultimately, an act of kindness potentially saved 30 people on this one less mass school shootings. So it all comes back to people,
Zack 20:21
I want to hear a little bit from Matt Paulson on this topic of staying connected and staying with people and the people around you helping you survive. This is Matt Paulson who had flatlined far longer than any human should, and statistically was given zero percent chance to live the clip is a little long, but it's probably the most incredible from your entire podcast just about the importance of staying connected and the people around you helping you through these dark times. Let's listen to Matt.
CUT TO CLIP
MATT PAULSON: If you've ever been scuba diving, or snorkeling or watched a, you know, an underwater movie, and you're deep underwater, and you're looking up at the surface of the ocean, and you can see just a little bit of light coming through. It was like that. But the light felt like just impossibly far away, like a universe of time away. And the water was this like cosmic energy water, where they talk about in Buddhism, where you, you know, you You're both a drop in the ocean and the entire ocean or when you become nothing, you become everything it was like that. I was myself, like none of my body, but I was myself. But I also felt connected to everything else. And I could hear my mom saying, Matthew Paulson, you got to fight, you got to fight these people are fighting to save your life. And I could hear that. And I remember thinking like, Wow, I've got a long way to go, you know, but I just I just remember fighting with my spirit and, and also feeling that the energy around me was collaborating with me that the people that were right outside the room sending in the energy, my friends knew about what was going on. So they were holding prayer circles, my girlfriend on us family had prayer circles going in Argentina. And I just believe the collection of those intentions, like some like I could, I could feel it. And I remember just fighting and fighting and fighting and just like it felt like an infinitely long journey. And then I remember the moment of just like, bursting back into the world. And feeling that feeling of like, Oh my gosh, the journey. I'm here. I'm back and looking at my mom. I'm looking at my dad. And then there's just like this moment of pure joy, where I felt connected to everything in the world. All at once.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack 22:44
That clip takes my breath away.
Kimi Culp 22:46
He's like a poet. I mean,
Zack 22:47
Oh my gosh, The connections that he felt while he was in that sunken place brought him back, it's wild to think about. Yeah, and that's somebody who was, you know, that he was on the other side. Yeah, it's an incredible piece of audio that you have there. And I got to just say, you know, from our own experience here, from the time we received our diagnosis, it's very isolating, you know, we were in the time of COVID getting this news. It's breast cancer, it's inflammatory breast cancer, it's metastatic inflammatory breast cancer, it's triple negative, just this sort of avalanche of bad. And, you know, you have to live with that for a little while. And then it was our decision to you know, speak about it publicly, you know, post on Facebook, and the minute, the minute she hit send on her post, and the minute we started to feel that connection from the people around us, you know, that for me is when it felt like the healing truly began. That for me is when we were like ‘okay, we're not alone in this thing, you know, and and and we got a chance we got a shot.’ And just hearing that story brought all of that just really solidified that modality of just not isolating yourself and whatever you're going through not closing off the world. You have another one of your guests that talks about the way forward is through. Yeah, you know, the way forward is through that was his mantra, that's the same guys that write the potential school shooter who almost was a school shooter in the way of dealing with it was the way forward is through the thing, you know, talk about the thing be open about the thing. Yeah. So along those lines of the way being forward is through is another modality that I discovered another common thread of speaking one's shame. Can you talk about speaking your shame?
Kimi Culp 24:36
Yeah. So I did you reference it earlier. I have bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed at the age of 18. And I hid it until last summer when I flipped the microphone and I had a friend interview me about living with bipolar disorder and the reasons that I hid it for so long. To the reasons I hit it or you know, It's so interesting you asking me because I was what I always say is I was ashamed of being mentally ill and I still am. I don't know with complete truthfulness, I can say any longer than I still am. Because I think saying it out loud over and over again and being open. A lot of that is gone. But for many years, I was ashamed. I thought it was dirty. What does that say about me, I'm mentally ill, I'm broken. I have this glossy life on the outside. But if people really knew, and you know, bipolar disorder, at times, it feels like a jolt of adrenaline. And largely how it manifested in me was, you know, I didn't need very much sleep. I had a loss of appetite. I had really big ideas and creative thinking I was gogogo. Oddly, all things that are rewarded in society, especially in television and film, everyone's like, Oh, you look great. You've lost 10 pounds, you're crushing it, have you? How many places have you flown to? great ideas, and I'm like, thanks. Like, I'm going to fucking crazy. And so it's weird, because there's, there's the there's a excitement, a confidence, a creativity that's rewarded, and also feels kind of good, if that makes sense. But on the other end of that is the crash, which is very dark and painful and scary and lonely. And a lot of, you know, what you people know is depression, you know, crying and withdrawing. And so I've been really lucky to have people in my life from very early on, that helped me manage it and great doctors with medication and learning lots of things about just being self-aware when Oh, I feel like I'm talking fast. And I've been been, I've been waking up with, you know, all these brainstorming ideas at four in the morning. So I understand the chemistry of my brain and how that shows up in the world. And you can take medications and slow down or, you know, even like just change diet, things like okay, I'm cutting out caffeine and sugar and alcohol for a month. Something's going on with me, you know. And so, yeah, it was something that I decided it felt disingenuous, I was asking a lot of people to talk about really hard things, some that are deeply personal. And I have my own deeply personal thing that to me at times says has, has been my private suffering. So I thought that I would meet my guests where they were which is brave enough to talk about hard things and stand in their truth.
Zack 27:41
What were some of the what's some of the feedback or what have you heard from people or from fans of the pod since going public in Episode 10, for anybody just jumping into All the Wiser I want a good place to start. Kimi's episode is Episode 10.
Kimi Culp 27:54
I kid you not I mean, before COVID when you like could communicate at a grocery store. Literally one guy whose I we know each other pleasantry. He's like, and he stops me. And he just said, I was looking for your email last night. I just want to thank you. And like, and he's just said, You know, I was living in New York in my 30s. And, you know, I would come home every night and cry for hours at points. I was suicidal. I mean, and just like, literally, like,
Zack 28:28
right here in Trader Joe's just unloaded. Yeah,
Kimi Culp 28:31
just fully unloaded. And so now the connection I have with him, compared to the 10 years that I would see him in town once a month. Is that's a completely different human connection. There's no there's no comparison, right and respect that we both have for one each other, not based on my perception of his outer shell now understanding what a beautiful complex real human being he is. And his same like friends reaching out saying, we haven't told anyone but you know, my daughter has been pulling out all of her hair, you know, and we’re thinking about outpatient treatment. And would you, you know, talk to her. That wasn't my reality. But you know, I want to show her that you can come out of these things. And so my shame led me to hide, which was meant being quiet and at times being I'm not going to call myself fake, but faking that everything was perfect. And what that actually did was robbed me of the ability to be of service to others. So that mom didn't know that she had somebody two blocks away that she could call that, you know, businessman in the suit didn't know that he saw somebody in the grocery store who could he could say that happened to me too. And it makes me feel better to know. To my letting go of the fear and my own, like, selfish belief that like oh, everyone's gonna think about me. Well, first of all, no one's gonna think about me because everyone's worried about themselves. Not me. My mental health. And so it will open connectedness it opened new relationships opened respect and it opened and it liberated me to just being like, you know, yeah. Like, this is part of who I am and warts and all. And I've learned to you know, I said I learned to live with it, I learned to dance with it to wrestle with it all of the above.
Zack 30:24
Let's listen to a clip from Episode 10. When Kimmy first spoke her shame to is it Graham, am I remembering that correctly?
30:31
Kimi Culp
That's my husband. Yeah.
Zack 30:33
Lets listen.
CUT TO EXCERPT
WOMAN: But you have shared this with some other people in the past, carefully chosen. And what has been the experience of that?
Kimi Culp
The best one was with Graham, I think it was about a year in and I was terrified. And I remember being really nervous, and like, My hands were shaking, I was crying. And I thought, well, he knows I'm mentally ill, you know, I don't know, maybe maybe he'll go away. And so I tell him, and I work up the courage. And his answer was, ‘you're way less crazy than my last girlfriend.’
31:13
That's reassure.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack 31:15
We love Graham. It's so cute. But that's right. Like the minute you know, you talk about the name of thing and you you talk about it publicly, you do find that everybody kind of comes into the woodwork. They're like, Hey, I have this, I also have this. It's not the same. But that's the thing we constantly hear. It's not the same but and it's like, there's no real use in comparison, making comparisons between your sufferingand mine, we're all going through something. And we all can learn from each other in some way. I generally feel like whatever you're bringing to me I want, I can learn something from it. If you you've either been through some shit, or you haven't, is what it seems. And if you have, I'll take it. I'll take whatever you can bring.
Kimi Culp 31:57
I think it's so important that you say that, because some people have said to me like, Oh, well, I listened. And now I realize, you know somebody's story who's something that feels really extreme, you know, and often because it is but like, I realized I shouldn't be upset about XYZ or, you know, I'm not going to take this for granted. And, and I always say that I don't think that's the point to you exactly what you said suffering is a shared human experience. So regardless of what your suffering it is, it's real. I think this idea that why shouldn't you know, I be feeling this way, because in comparison isn't isn't how we're all going to collectively support one another. And, you know, showing up in the best ways that we can for one another.
Zack 32:44
Maybe the smartest thing I heard probably came from one of your youngest guests. And that was a little something that I heard from Trey, who was part of your A Little Wiser series. In addition to the larger sort of big form podcasts, you started these little wiser, smaller podcasts and your interview, Trey. And he has his own podcast. And he talked about being thankful. Let's listen to Trey talking about being thankful.
CUT TO EXCERPT
33:13
TREY: My greatest takeaway is be thankful for who you have to help you. I wouldn't be in a much different situation than now. If I had no one to help me. So always be thankful for who you have to help.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack 33:31
Simple, but so freakin profound and so stinking wise. And something that, like me is like a dumb guy, you know, hearing about the situation that I was going to be embarking upon, like, my initial response is like hunker down, how do I do this? And what you know, got to get the diet, right, gotta get the thing got to do all the things. And it's like, No, no, no, no, let's, let's stop and be thankful that my wife has acquired all of these beautiful people in our lives to help us. And if they want to set up a meal chain, take the meal train, if they want to, you know, send candles, take the candles, take it all. And just be thankful for the people that you have around you. So, so, so important. And I'm so thankful for Trey, for underlining that, and Trey links to another guest, Matt Long on your show. And this might be a good time to talk about the one for one nature of your podcast, because All the Wiser is in addition to helping people with empathy and perspective, they also have a bit of a giving back component to it. But can you talk about the one for one of All the Wiser?
Kimi Culp 34:33
Yeah, the idea was, you know, 50 episodes, we said stood up in the backyard, you know, say the statement in front of people then you've got to be held accountable. We said the goal is 50 inspiring stories $100,000 given away to charities around the world, and that for each story, that individual could pay it forward. Not only share their story and their gift with the listeners. But be able to make a contribution to a charity they believe in.
Zack 35:05
Well, I mentioned Matt long, who helped set up Trey, with his storytelling through his foundation. And so it might be a good time to mention Matt Long's modality and what I learned from Matt, in terms of just setting goals, that seems to be another big one that we hear a lot. Set a goal . Let’s hear Matt.
CUT TO EXCERPT
35:25
MATT: And my whole outlook on life have changed. You know, quite frankly, I'd stopped dreaming. You know, I even know, I dreamed when I was kid to play basketball, I realized that when I'm happiest, I'm dreaming of the next best thing, whether it's an athletic event, whether it's a challenge, whether it's my my social life, whether it's getting married, have kids, I was always dreaming about that next best thing, and, and striving to make that happen. And that made me happy. After 911 I stopped looking forward to the future like time it stopped. And I became depressed, I became more grouchy, short with people got overweight, I was like his head wasn't even happy going to work anymore. And I needed that to change.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack: And we ran up against this with our own diagnosis. I was like, it was right, we've received the news right around the time we were starting this podcast. And I was like, well, the pods down, I'm not doing that I can't, I can't be focusing on other things. And my wife was just like, What are you talking about? I was like, well, I need to, you know, be more attentive to you toward a new child. And she's like, No, no, no, no, we don't, it doesn't stop, nothing stops, we're not stopping anything, you still want to do this, you're passionate about it. You know, we have to keep living our lives, we have to keep going. We have to keep hoping we have to keep doing otherwise, like then it just wins. Then the thing wins, whatever the thing is, defeats you there on the spot if you stop. And I just really heard that when when, you know, Matt talks about the next thing always kind of propelling him forward. I feel like throughout my life, even you know, pre cancer diagnosis, it's been generally hope of another thing coming that has kept me motivated and kept me going. Is that fair.
Kimi Culp 37:14
It's totally fair and your wife sounds incredible. And the fact that she had that insight, and that, you know, that insight and that gift to you and to me, that feels very, very right. I get that. So I'm glad that she inspired you to do that.
Zack 37:31
She's the stronger the two for sure.
Kimi Culp 37:34
You know, I think I do think it goes back to like it is Aaron talks talking about, you know, the only way forward is through the only way forward is through it. I think that's very much the case is that there is no, you know, there is no growth there is that you you have to sit in it.
Zack 37:58
Let's hear that. Let's hear that clip of acknowledgment. This is Aaron's modality of acknowledgement of the thing.
Cut to excerpt
38:06
AARON: The biggest step that I personally took was acknowledgement where I went through the people that hurt me over the years and confronted them, not in an accusatory way not to say that you did this, so you need to pay, or you did this and you hurt me. So you need to suffer. But just to acknowledge, like, I know, this is what happened. This is the reality that I'm living in. And our relationship is fundamentally altered forever because of it. And that process for myself was so cathartic. And so it allowed me to release so many of those demons that it It made me believe in one of my core personal philosophies, which is the way out is through. The best way to get through something is to just get through it. And sometimes it's gonna hurt a lot to go to go through it, but it's much better to go through it, then go around it.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Kimi Culp 39:02
Yeah, I love that. And I do think there was a consistent method or a message of it's like, acknowledging it, sitting in it, allowing it to be what it is, you know, like you said, allowing letting in the support and the love. But there was never really like, nobody had this song at moments Why me but but they never let the victimization narrative drive the bus for very long. At some point, it wasn't about that,
Zack 39:33
you know, don't become your thing. Don't become your disease that and and that's really why I kind of want to tackle your pod like this. I don't, I didn't want to sort of be reductive and just reduce them to their moment of tragedy because the pod is the wisdom that they glean but the 45 minutes is the conversation. That's the beauty. So I couldn't sit here and play clips of, you know, someone punching a shark and someone jumping out you know, it just seemed disingenuous. This is the meat of it. This is the heart of it and you get you get some some real, just profound ideas of overcoming adversity that I haven't heard articulated anywhere else. And that's another great one. From Aaron Stark, not the guy who almost was a school shooter. As I referred to him earlier. I apologize for talking about them like their worst days, I meant to just try to remember everyone's name. Let's, uh, let's take a quick break here. We'll be right back.
CUT TO MUISC
ZACK: We're here to fill the role of looking for great content for you. If you like the show, please check us out and subscribe visit pod spotter.com and on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @thepodspotter, we might be on Tik tok, I'm not sure. It's all out there for lots of good stuff. But please, please leave a review, subscribe rate, judge us on Apple podcasts and help spread the word we release every Monday with a great new review of a wonderful new podcast and we're just going to keep plowing ahead whether here or not, it's going to be happening. So please be here. So I'm not just talking alone. And if you have suggestions for pods to feature drop us a note on any of those social media platforms or thepodspotter.com Thanks everybody.
Back to interview
Zack: I do I haven't met a term I think though with bingeing this pod I had to do a bit of a a pod palate cleanser in between each one I'd have to like like Kimmy and then do a pot palate cleanser and God like to something just dumb fluff. Do you have any of those? Do you have any just like dumb, stupid or can you generally just live in this the wait all the time? What's your palate cleanser these days?
Kimi Culp 41:46
Pod palate cleanser. Oh, that was such a good one. I mean, you know why? It was so good. Back in the day. It was the Richard Simmons one. What's it called?
Zack 41:55
I'm searching for was it searching for Richard Simmons - finding Richard Simmons?
Kimi Culp 42:00
Yeah,
Zack 42:03
He was just like, ‘hey, peace. I was here all along.’ Everything's fine. But it was good. Let's go. Right. Very good. Is this fun for you?
Kimi: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm okay.
Zack: I've identified a few more. And that'll let you go. Okay. Don't live in fear, says David bird in Episode 13. Let's listen to David's perspective about just continue to live.
CUT TO EXCERPT
42:24
I'm a numbers guy. And so when I have these couple of months of not doing anything in the apartment, I was doing a lot of research on what the probability of a shark attack was. And I concluded that if I was going to be afraid of being attacked by a shark again, I need to be afraid of pretty much everything else in my life. And so I decided not to do that. And, and so one example is like last year, there were 66 people in the world who were attacked by a shark with the call unprovoked shark attacks. And there were 70 something people who died while taking a selfie. So if I'm going to be afraid of shark attacks, I like can't take selfies, right like it's like there's like an extreme. It's really extreme level and like extreme unlikelihood that I like, don't I don't fear it because then I'd have to fear everything else, you know, way more likely things are dying in a car accident or an airplane or even being struck by lightning is like four times more likely. So yeah, I don't want to live my life in fear of everything. So therefore, I can't live my life in fear of a shark attack.
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Zack 43:28
I don't fear selfies, okay. Sure.
Kimi Culp 43:31
I mean, I did. I've always been totally fascinated about the selfie deaths. Not to make light of selfie deaths. But
Zack 43:39
no, have you been a Grand Canyon? I totally get it. I get it. Like caught up in the vastness, the altitudes messing with your head. You're just getting close trying to get that perfect shot. Thinking about the likes. I gotta get the likes, I gotta get the likes. And then you're in ravine and they’re sending the dogs in after you.
Kimi Culp 43:55
I mean, David bird.
Zack 43:57
Holy Hannah. That guy. Yeah. Incredible.
Kimi Culp 44:01
He's 27 he's significantly more mature and evolved than I am. I mean, he just everything I got off the phone. And I'm like, where did this kid come from? Yeah. His level. It's a sense of self. It's maturity. It's gratitude. It's, you know, just and you get that it happened before the shark attack. I mean, this that it's not just this happened to me. And now I'm, you know, he is just, I mean, I think some people come out beyond their years and I was just blown away by him, blown away.
Zack 44:38
He's Episode 13. If you want to start there, folks, it is also really
Kimi Culp 44:41
good. And people love that one. People are so good, big response.
Zack 44:45
Well, he also has that thing. It's like I can choose to think about myself as very unlucky or I can choose to think of myself as extremely lucky like I can choose to be like, man that was unlucky that I got attacked by a shark or I can be like, I survived a shark attack I'm the luckiest human alive I have to keep living and
Kimi Culp 45:04
that one went like viral with. I mean, I'm saying viral I'm talking about under 10 people and viral with like the 12 year old boy crowd --
Zack 45:14
he punches a shark Kimmy, he punches a shark in its shark mouth. That's 10 year old boy porn right there. They dream of that.
Kimi Culp 45:24
My friend was listening to it. And she was carpooling, some kids to baseball. And I kept running into kids like in town. Hey Mrs Culp, I listened to that David bird episode, and it was and then like some kid with them. I didn't know I was like, Oh, that was you? Yeah, that was great. I yeah, my brother and I listen. Like all these little dudes listening to the older wiser David bird. There's, like so many boys listen to that podcast. I'm like, I didn't even know kids listen to this thing.
Zack 45:51
How about stay positive? This one to me you know, even before dealing with my own adversity, what was felt a little this like just a little disingenuous or a little-- What is it just walk around with a smile on my face all the time, or like, an annoying one. It's inactive is what it is. It's not I need specifics. And so I think Dan Brodsky in Episode 31 sort of talks about staying positive. And in a more practical way, let's listen to Dan.
CUT TO EXCERPT
46:20
DAN: I don't know that there was as big a change as there was confirmation of what I was doing. And when you have something in your life that you're this passionate about, and and you're that driven to Excel, and you're pushing yourself to become better at it every day, and the better you become, the more that you love it. And you've got a team that you just love doing this with. And it's a challenge together. And you've had the opportunity to do that, once you've experienced that. You don't want to settle for anything else. And when I realized that as badly as I was hurt, I still think I can do this. Then there was no question as to what it was going to be. And if I couldn't do that, I would have tried to find something else that I was that passionate about. Because life is so fulfilling and has so much meaning and then reward when you're doing those kinds of things that you don't want to settle for a life that's less
BACK TO INTERVIEW
Kimi Culp 47:13
It’s your wife’ advice, you know, are you gonna stop pursuing your passion? Are you gonna stop living and growing and the ways that you do with your professional passions because they can, you know, fill you up in a real meaningful way? I think
Zack 47:27
I think the saying should go from stay positive to stay passionate because Dan went through a pretty serious crash there right? Is that what
Kimi Culp 47:37
Yeah, he survived a plane crashed where you know, more than half of those on the flight lost their lives. And was a competitive sky diver, you know, told he should never skydive again and was back in a plane jumping, you know, within months of leaving the hospital safely found a new way. But what he speaks to is he went back to his passion and had he not truly been able to go he would have found something that that lit him up as much as skydiving did, because that passion piece was so integral to him having the full life and after the accident, he needed that more than ever.
Zack 48:17
He did doctor's report refresh my memory where they like don't you can't do I remember there was one doctor that was like, No, you there's no skydiving anymore for this. This is not gonna happen
Kimi Culp 48:28
yeah, I think it was another theme and all of this is like how careful doctors need to choose their words because you hear many people say to doctors told them you're never gonna walk again. There's no hope there's an another doctor comes in and says, you know, you know, I believe in you will find a way we'll find it. And so there were there was a lot of that it was really,
Zack 48:52
Kimi should we complete this interview? And you immediately get a call about some other life tragedy about to befall can we call I hope it doesn't happen. But should that happen? Is there a first phone call to one of your what which one of your guests I guess, do you call first for that sort of rewiring? And that, that that sort of game planning for the next chapter of your life? Who would you Who would you call on?
You can only call one.
Kimi Culp 49:26
Zack. You are good. You're barbara walters. You're much younger. I would say yeah, Maya would be for sure. Stacy lanner. I was really impressed by her. I mean, her story is crazy. And she's a really rad person.
Zack 49:57
What's Stacey’s story again?
Kimi Culp 49:59
She She grew up abused by her father from the time she was like four and actually ended up taking his life and then was sent to prison. She was sexually abused by her father, and then was sent to prison as a teenager. And then she, they exonerated her, she came out and graduated number two in her class of law school and is now a public defender. I think BJ Miller is like, so fascinating. And like, you know, if there's ever an end of life thing that I'm dealing with, for anyone that I know, that's good that I'm going to track him down and stalk him. So yeah, I mean, there's so many great ones, but Maya came to my heart first,
Zack 50:46
for sure. And you're walking with her next week, too. So you had to say Maya, she would have been upset.
Kimi Culp 50:51
I would have been awkward.
Zack 50:52
Yeah. Do you have a nickname for your fans? Is there they call themselves anything? It's always the telltale sign of a good part of a popular podcast and yours certainly has the subscribers for it. Do they refer to themselves as anything?
Kimi Culp 51:05
We should put that out. I mean, I would really feel like I was, you know, on track if I if I had like, you know,
Zack 51:13
Can I workshop a couple. Throw some out there. If you don't if you don't have any?
Kimi Culp 51:18
Yes, No, I don't. I mean, this is starting now. Yeah.
Zack 51:21
Okay. There's Kimie’s kids. Uh huh. It's not great. Not great. Wise, guys. But that's a little gendered. Okay, my number one though? I think I'm going with culpables.
Kimi Culp 51:33
I think we may have a winner.
Zack 51:34
I think we might have something here. Culpables. Yeah, fans of Dan, I don't know. We'll see. Um, we do a little thing here at the pod spotter?
Kimi Culp 51:44
I know what you’re going to say
Zack 51:44
Called go ahead is no one is listening. Go ahead. No, no one is listening. It's a moment where you can share a secret or tell someone off or tell if a boss or just whatever, to recite some poetry, do whatever you want. But Kimi, I do that because it's based on the idea that no one listens to the last five minutes of podcasts, and everyone is already gone. And they've finished their Blue Apron and their jog and they're not listening anymore. So you can do whatever you want. However, I listened to every one of your episodes start to finish. So you blew that theory out of the water. So we're not going to do that today. Okay, you've ruined a segment on our show. So you know what I'm gonna do you know what segment I know.
Kimi Culp 52:22
That's what I said. I know what you're gonna do. Yeah,
Zack 52:24
what am I gonna do?
Kimi: Rapid fire.
Zack 52:37
Oh, baby. Super rapid fire. If you're a fan of All The Wiser--
Kimi Culp 52:32
I was gonna talk about my unibrow and my grooming habits, but
Zack: I I love that. See? I just love talking to you. So I'm gonna do that. Anyway, at the end of this we'll do a little moment of Go ahead. No one is listening. That's fine.
Kimi Culp 52:44
I don't know why I just inserted myself back into that horrible,
Zack 52:48
Because you’re a podcast host. That’s what you do. This is a rapid fire with Kimi Culp. Are you ready? All time favorite podcast, can't say Richard Simmons, don't say the pot spotter because it's gonna be awkward because I know you're lying because you haven't Listened to it
Kimi Culp 53:05
Um, I love a podcast called the feelgood effect.
53:11
Zack: worst way to die.
Kimi Culp 53:14
Trapped anywhere I'm trapped in a box buried alive underground.
Zack 53:18
Best TV show all time.
53:22
Kimi: Narcos
Zack 53:23
all the wiser will be a success when
Kimi Culp 53:27
all the wiser will be a success when it feels whole and complete.
Zack: favorite teacher growing up.
Kimi: Miss Allard for sure.
Zack 53:37
I can't stand people who
Kimi Culp 53:43
Deeply lack self awareness.
Zack 53:48
If I could relive one childhood memory, it would be
Kimi Culp 53:55
I remember being the boardwalk at Rehoboth Beach like, like, just feels nostalgic. Lots of like taffy and cheap rides.
Zack 54:06
Mine was also on a boardwalk in New Jersey. What is it about that? I don't know. whimsey It must be the wimzie, the family and the beach. The worst part about living in LA is
Kimi Culp 54:23
lack of forehead expressions.
Zack 54:27
Which leads perfectly to your eyebrow grooming. Because no one is listening.
Kimi Culp 54:34
I mean, it's much better. I could post some pictures from high school before I understood that like waxing was an option. But yeah, it's just this light skinned dark hair combo and it just requires a lot of work. And that sometimes is not available during a global pandemic. So yeah, I mean, if I wasn't on top of it, it would look like there was like a sharpie in a situation.
Zack 54:55
So you're in it.
Kimi Culp 54:58
it's not that bad. I'm being a little Little bit dramatic but yes, it needs to be tended to
Zack 55:03
it looks great by the way no one here would notice no one watching this would notice my haircut is, you know like whisper down the alley it starts out like with a good sentence and the sentence like it's morphed, I'm still cutting my own hair. So it's like started as a good haircut and but like, slowly, each time I do it it's getting... You can't even show the business back here. Thank God for the we're doing fine
Kimi Culp 55:29
moment just to let it go so I can release it into the world. When I was a desk assistant at NBC News in Washington, the tape intake guy when we used to record tapes for Nightly News, was frustrated at me and threw a beta tape at my head while I was logging and it hit me in the eye. His name was Jim so I would like to just vent and ask for an apology.
Zack 55:55
There's so much. First of all, Jim's out listening. No one is listening. He's never gonna hear this. No one is ever gonna hear this. Jim, what's the beta tape bro? threw it at your head. Why did he think that was an acceptable move?
Kimi Culp 56:08
Yeah, Jim had anger management issues.
Zack 56:10
He was known he was a known offender of throwing things. So you're kind of stirring the hornet's nest a little bit here with us. Yeah,
Kimi Culp 56:16
I can't remember but there was a beta tape thrown in my head by Jim that he he worked in a basement with no natural light and the tape library so I get it. But um, yes, he threw a beta tape in my head. That's an accurate story.
Zack 56:30
really brutal. Jim. I hope you are listening. And I hope you apologize. You're a strong willed person. I kind of feel like you kind of you went in there. wet. Yeah, you I find. I'm going to use my moment of no one listening to see if someone is listening. My brother in law, Allen says that he's been listening and I sneaky believe that he just listens to like a couple like choice moments. And then he's like, Hey, that was really interesting. That thing and then this other thing, so I'm gonna use mine to give a password to Alan. And if you text me this, then I'll know that you're actually listening. This is how bad my ego is. I want to know that everyone that says there listening is listening. And the password is um, it's Culpables. If you're really listening. That's all the time we have for the pod spotter, this is a true pleasure.
Kimi Culp 57:18
Alright, it's a pleasure. And I'm going to be thinking of you and your wife and your family.
Zack 57:23
Thank you. And I'll be listening for more modalities of healing and recovery because it's important.
Kimi Culp 57:27
All right, thank you, Zack.
Zack 57:29
Thank you guys. Subscribe, Like do all the things you do to podcasts, leave reviews, all that stuff All the Wiser. Go give it a listen.
Zack: This has been the pod spotter where we showcase the pods that you're not listening to but you really should be. If you have one that you think we should know about please let us know via the podspotter.com or Facebook or Twitter or Instagram @thepodspotter. Thanks everybody.
1:03:17
This has been Zack Robidas. The Pod Spotter is created by the Price Brothers, produced by Oink Ink Radio, associate producer Tori Adams, and is recorded and produced at Baker Sound in Philadelphia.